The Security Trio of Respect, Communication, and Enforcement
A Secure Person is one who is able to limit and control anti-social behaviors both by himself and by others. These unwanted behaviors range from bullying, harassment, sexual assault, to murder and mayhem. A Secure Person uses the Security Trio of Respect, Communication, and Enforcement. He or she clearly communicates the rules of behavior. These rules are respected by the majority or other people. When necessary, he or she is able to enforce the rules. Respect is created by enforcement that is just right. It is neither too passive, nor too aggressive.
An Insecure Person is characterized by the Insecurity Trio of Under-Respect, Under-communication, Under-Enforcement. This person is receives minimal respect for the rules of behavior. He has trouble directly and clearly communicating these rules. Frequently, communication comes in the form of complaints, passive aggressive actions, or silence. He considers himself powerless to enforce the rules, leading to feelings of apathy, passiveness, and victimization.
A Violating Person is one in which anti-social behaviors are not controlled. These unwanted behaviors are the result of the Chaos Trio of Disrespect, Threats, and Violence. This person doesn’t respect and violates the rules of behavior. He uses threats as his means of communication. He uses violence as his means of enforcing his own personal wishes and desires.
A Secure Person uses Progressive Responses in an escalating manner as a means to determine the Just Right Response or appropriate response to violations of the rules of behavior. Individuals create Progressive Responses through use of the Progressive Fence of the Visual Fence (body language), Verbal Fence (assertive phrases), and Physical Fence (physical actions).
Violating People use the Insecurity Trio of Disrespect, Threats, and Violence for the purpose of obtaining either social or resource goals. Social-Based Violating People have goals that usually involve increasing the person’s social standing within his or her social group. Or they may involve using violence as a means to enforce the person’s and/or Group’s own set of behavioral rules.
Resource-Based Violating People use the Chaos Trio for the purpose of obtaining asocial resource goals. These goals may involve obtaining money, drugs, or other material resources. Process-Based Violating People engage in the Three Cancers because the behavioral process of these violations is the goal. Some examples of these people are serial rapists and serial killers.
Insecure People that exhibit the Three Signs of Under-respected, Under-communication, and Under-enforcement are potential targets for Violating People because of their difficulty in creating effective responses to violations.